Lul @ the women at Thanksgiving dinner anxiously eyeing the two gay guys at dinner for signs of us planning to open a joint Pier One Credit Card together later this afternoon. 

Mom was cornering me like, “Well?” 

“Well, what?”

I identify as a Bear in the gay community

Specifically, a Panda Bear:

If you introduce me to a potential mate we won’t get along and then we’ll refuse to mate in captivity!

Finally: “I like chubby guys now, mom. It’s harder for them to run away!”