We were on Facetime and I was telling him about some of the volunteer work I do, I was talking about how some of the folks who come in are court-ordered, and they\u2019re all mad about it and bitching that it\u2019s a bunch of bullshit and they got played, and blah blah blah and I ask them if they\u2019d rather grab a broom and sweep the 101 or, you know, you can always tell the judge fuck off I\u2019d rather be in jail \u2014 right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I talked about how the \u201cprobationers\u201d might not be addicts but they probably have other stuff going on. Legal problems, living in rough neighborhoods, just living the life\u2026 and how I was sitting there with a couple of them just kicking it and talking about life. We were cutting up small pieces of paper for a staff training exercise and they were actually enjoying what they were doing so much that I pretended that I didn\u2019t know that there was a paper slicer that could have cut all of this paper in about two minutes flat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I guess after I told him a couple stories about what I was up to lately, he was finally comfortable enough to tell me that he was extremely suicidal the night that I\u2019d met him and that I looked \u201cscary\u201d and that he was just hoping I\u2019d come over and kill him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut no, you were really sweet and smart and cool and-\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I just stared at my phone in disbelief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I guess\u2026 that says a lot\u2026 about your needs versus my needs\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The night we met, we were cuddling but I was apprehensive and my PTSD went off. I kept feeling like someone else lived there and might show up unannounced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I saw the pipe on his dresser. He protested it wasn\u2019t his.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was like, \u201c you said you live alone, byeeeee.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m not sure why I even stayed in contact with him, other than he was kind of funny and cute and a good kisser and I lived far enough away from him \u2026 it wasn\u2019t a risk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that\u2019s the morning I found myself walking across Times Square at 4am; mumbling something to no one in particular on my quasi-shadow banned social media like \u201csometimes you have a choice about how to spend or end your night.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was strike one and strike two \u2014 I\u2019ve said enough and I don\u2019t need to go on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We were on Facetime and I was telling him about some of the volunteer work I do, I was talking about how some of the folks who come in are court-ordered, and they\u2019re all mad about it and bitching that it\u2019s a bunch of bullshit and they got played, and blah blah blah and I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7131"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7131"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7131\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12166,"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7131\/revisions\/12166"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7131"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7131"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/v4.fadingstar.mx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7131"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}